Constance
by Dulcinea
Summary: A thief gets stuck into a scene from FOTR, and is 'taken hostage' as she would so lovingly put it, by, Strider the man in charge, Gimili the short dude with a long black beard, and a hygiene-deficient blond.


Behind me, I could hear the dogs panting wildly as they raced after me. How in the world could I have tripped that alarm? I've never done something so stupid as that! Good. Soon I'll be on the river sailing home! I jumped a tall fence with ease and bolted towards my raft. I quickly threw my packs on top of it as I untied the rope that held the raft in place. I lunged for my ride home just as it began floating away. I was soaking wet, and not with river water. Man, I don't even want to think about the way I'll smell in the morning! I lay on my back gazing at the stars that shone bright against the velvety black sky, and began to fall asleep.  
  
The bright sunlight awoke me the next morning. Sitting up, I took a good look at my surroundings. I was drifting in a wide clear blue river that was bordered on either side by trees. I must have past home hours ago! I have no clue where I am! With a groan I gazed into the water, catching my reflection. My curly chocolate brown hair was still mostly in the beanie that I had tucked it iso carefully under the night before. My turquoise eyes were awake and alert. My black shirt and pants were completely soiled. Not too far off was some   
movement to my left. It looked like three men. Well, maybe they can help me. Docking my raft about ten feet away, I grabbed my bags and half jogged towards the men.  
  
"Excuse me! I'm a little lost, and I was hopping -" I stopped short when I caught site of them up close. One was tall and had dark brown hair and gray eyes, he wore mostly dark clothing and was really rather dirty. Another man was standing next to him, was just as tall. He had long flaxen hair, and clear green eyes, he wore mostly greens and browns, and... tights? The third man was much shorter, he had a long black beard that came down below his belt, he wore grays and browns. They were all standing next to a small boat that had the body of a forth man laying inside it, DEAD. He looked like he was as tall as the first guy, with brown hair and dark clothing, stained with blood. He had about four arrows sticking out from his chest. I looked back at the other three wide-eyed. Sure enough, they were all armed. And the blond with deadly bow-and-arrow. Slowly, I backed up. "uh, look, boys, I didn't mean to uh... disturb your...plans. I think I'll just head back thataway." I pointed behind me, and turned to go as one of them caught my arm and spun me back around.  
  
"Who are you?" It was the first guy. His voice was rough, but not unpleasant.  
  
"My name is Constance." With a sigh fo defeat, I continued, "And who might ya'll be?" The man who had caught me loosened his grip slightly and replied,  
  
"You may call me Strider."  
  
"I am Legolas Greenleaf, at your service, Mi'lady." said the blonde one, stepping forward, taking my hand in his, and kissed it.  
  
"Yuck! That's repulsive! What was it again? Legolas. You don't know where my hand has been! That's just bad hygiene! Nasty!" The short dude walked a bit closer to me after my   
remark and said,  
  
"My name is Gimli, it is a pleasure to meet such a fine young elf as yourself Lady Constance."   
  
"Uh... right... elf... sure..." Man! not only are these guys murderers, their insane too! Well, all murderers are insane, but you catch my drift.   
  
"We must leave soon if we are to catch up to our little friends." Strider said letting go of my arm.  
  
"Well, then, I can see I'm only getting in your way, so I'll be going now. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone you guys killed that man. Promise -" They each began to roar with   
laughter.  
  
"Mi'lady! We did no such thing!" Defended Legolas.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Well, it was truly... fun may not be quite the word I'm looking for... but, I'll leave you to your uh... business now."  
  
"Strider, we cannot let a lady such as her to walk alone out here, it's dangerous!" Legolas exclaimed, grabbing my hand, holding me in place.  
  
"I am perfectly capable-" I was cut off by Striders booming voice.  
  
"You are right. We must take her along... or at least get her away from the forest."  
  
"But the lass will slow us down!" Countered Gimli.  
  
"Hey jackass! I'm not some little flower puff girl like most! I bet you anything that I can outlast you!" He snorted at this and looked over at Strider as if to say 'See, she's already becoming a problem!' I'll show him! Wait! What am I thinking? I don't want to go with them!  
  
"She is coming master dwarf! Enough said! Now, gather your things!"  
  
"Uh, is it my imagination, or are you the guy who's in charge?" I whispered, side stepping so only Strider could hear. Who i the world names their kid 'Strider'? He gave a short nod.  
  
"What is it you want?"  
  
"I just really need a bath... five minutes! That's all I'll need!" He glanced over at me, giving me a good look-over. I knew I smelled bad, of course, that's what happens when you somehow slip and fall into a pile of bodily waste.  
  
"Hurry." Was all he said. It was all he needed to say! I scurried off in the direction of the river, and took my bath. Not long after I was squeaky clean and wearing fresh clothes. A pair of short shorts, boots and a dark green shirt which was about two sizes too small. From the looks on their faces, you would have thought they'd never seen a girl in a tight midriff before!  
  
"What?" I asked shouldering my pack.  
  
"Nothing." They all replied, turning hastily away. Whatever!   
  
  
A/N - review!!!!! 


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